Icebergs, leadership and spiritual formation

As the Titanic famously learned, icebergs are made more significant by that which is not seen.

I thought of this after reading an interesting quote about a pastor.  A pastor, according to this joke from Scotland, is invisible six days a week and incomprehensible on the seventh.

I am not sure about the incomprehensible part but I am very interested in the invisible side of pastors.

I read once that Gandhi complained about the church by saying the many of the world religions produced holy men but Christianity produced managers and leaders. Whether or not it is true as quote, it is damning as concept.

It is not hard to find a great conference or wonderful book on leadership. It is a bit harder to find the same on developing a life of prayer.

Let’s imagine building an iceberg the way we might build a church. We might end up with a well crafted 1 to 5 % bobbing on the surface, flipping and turning with every incoming wave. It is the hidden mass of the ice that keeps it stable, and potentially dangerous, in the water.

I firmly believe that the character and actions of the leadership of a church significantly affect the shape of the character of the church. If this is true, then perhaps one of the biggest failings of the church is in not encouraging its pastors, elders and leaders to focus on the hidden spiritual interior. We honour giftedness, efficiency and charismatic personalities; but, seldom  do we truly honour deep spirituality.

If I, as a pastor do not fight the tyranny of the urgent and do the hard disciplined work of being a man of prayer, how can I call my leaders to do the same. I want to be able to say follow me as I follow the Lord – the Lord who stole away to be with His Father. How can I call the church to prayerfulness and spiritual intimacy unless it woven into my life?

Here is the irony - prayer, contemplation and spiritual vitality come about because of the hidden times in the life of a leader. A pastor does not model prayer by brief eloquent utterances from the pulpit. He models it by struggling unseen and un-applauded before the throne.

flutes, sticks and Lent

I read something very interesting in a Lenten post by Shane Clariborne this morning. To paraphrase - "What is the difference between a stick in the mud and a flute? The stick in the mud is full of itself and the flute has been emptied of itself so that it can make music."
I like that a lot; partially because I really don't want to be a stick in the mud but mostly because I want my life to make beautiful music.
As I have been thinking about it I was drawn to the description of Jesus in Philippians 2 where he is spoken of as emptying himself.  In the context of lent this means far more than giving up chocolate!
In the life of Jesus the process of emptying was all about living his life out of love for others in a very sacrificial way. This I understand. If I am honest I don't always get Lent. It is not part of my background or even my present in a significant way. I understand discipline, delayed gratification and living a little more simply. Those are very good things. Always.
But the idea of focusing on emptying myself out of love for others as a preparation for spiritual renewal at Easter is, for me, far more far reaching and challenging.
I don't want to be so full of myself that I cannot make my life a love song for the Lord.

weakness is ok for others

Ambition, pride, restlessness, insecurity and impatience are all things which I can normally keep  under control - sort of like tamed pets. I acknowledge they are there but they do not bark much and I can generally ignore them.
It is exciting to be starting in a new church in the Netherlands - a great church. I have come full of energy, ideas and, apparently, double pneumonia. Seriously? Not good timing! To make it worse, Denise is as sick as me1 We could have least taken turns!
Instead of hitting the floor running, I was able to preach my first message and come home and crash. Horror of horrors, I have to start my new ministry by asking for help!
It is rather funny actually. I have often taught on the gift that our weaknesses can be - how when we acknowledge our need for others, the church matures .  I profoundly believe it is true - and I utterly dislike modelling it.
And more significantly, it brings the barking hord of repressed things to the surface. I really want to make a great impression in my first week in this church. I want people to like me.
I said to the board last week that my first calling is to be a holy man - to pray, read and seek and the Lord.  I feel like the Lord has gently tapped me on the shoulder and said " ok - you can do that" while slowly pushing into a chair.
I have things to do Lord! Important things like registration and getting a cell phone and a bank account and a car and.......
Silly silly me. People are offering to get us groceries. Someone drove us to the doctor. And they even seem to enjoy doing it for us.
Silly silly me. It is so much easier to write about how the one thing that I desire is to spend time with the Lord than the embrace the reality even when it is forced upon me.

New Beginnings

I confess that I am a little nervous - well maybe pumped and on edge would be a better description of how I feel.
Tomorrow will be my first morning "in the pulpit" of Trinity International Church in Leidschendam Holland! It is exciting!
It is also hard - our hearts and minds are still full of our friends in Baku and the wonderful church there. I have been aching with them through this horrible weather.  We have been praying for them as many have had major visa issues over the last 2 weeks and will be leaving or have already left.  We had it easy - a number of our friends only have a week's notice before they have to depart. That is seriously not fun!
I feel very human this week. I hate to admit it but I am tired and both Denise and I are sick. Instead of starting a new role with high energy, I am creeping up to the pulpit.  Emotionally and physically this has been a hard month.
What a great way to start!  This is not a cheap funny comment but rather something I believe to be true.  I embrace my weakness as a place where His strength is made complete. My pride wishes it were not so but  my spirit knows of its great value.
The job that is ahead of me, and that which I left behind, is far more that I can do. My gifts and energy are simply not sufficient - nor should they be.
On a different but related note - I have started a second blog - Waywords.  This is more specifically for the church here in Holland but of course anyone can read it. It just might have some comments specific to this faith community and what is happening here.
I will keep this blog going as I have loved writing it. I have really appreciated yours comments and encouragement also by the way.
And with that, I am going to prepare my heart for tomorrow .
Always onwards!

Blind spots and why we need a flock

I saw part of a documentary last night that had a great useless bit of trivia about the eyes of sheep - something that I have not spent a lot of time thinking about.
Sheep have great panoramic vision which means that they can see between 270 and 330 degrees around their head. If you have ever tried to sneak up on a sheep you will already know this perhaps - it is difficult to surprise them with this sort of vision.
The difficulty is that they have a blind spot in that they cannot see what is coming directly behind them which makes the job of a wolf much easier.
One sheep by itself is very vulnerable to this sort of rear guard action. If, however, you have ever seen a flock of sheep, you will know that they do not stand in some sort of orderly group. They meander erratically grazing rather than standing in some sort of formation. Not only is this great for artists, it means that that they are very well protected. As a flock they are watching in all directions. As an individual sheep, that is not possible.
What a great reason for followers of Jesus to hang out together! We need each other to cover our blind spots and see what we cannot see. In our arrogance and sometimes our pain, we think we can do a better job of doing this ourselves. It is true, that sheep can bite and it is tempting to want to be alone.
It is also very true that we really the flick. Wolves understand this.

Worship – the missing gem, missing oxygen of the church

Many years ago I was struck by the truth contained in the title and content of A.W. Tozer’s book on worship as being the missing gem within the church. That certainly rang a chord in my heart and we  have spent much of our lives helping churches find that gem.

Frankly, I think we are losing it again.

I was struck this morning by a line from Eugene Peterson where he talks about the change from a call to worship the almighty God to the call to have a “worship experience”.

We have replaced the need to be worshippers in spirit and truth with the need to have amazing sound systems, star quality worship leaders and consumer driven music sets. We have changed from a desire to honour God in a way that He deserves to an insatiable need to be satisfied with the emotional experience of Sunday morning.  The English song writer, Graham Kendrich , who wrote Knowing You among many other magnificent songs, said that we are in danger of pursuing ecstasy rather than God. I concur.

What we have lost has been an manipulated time of worshipping God for Hiis glory and not for our enjoyment.  John Wimber, the founder of Vineyard, used to say that our attitude towards worship was like going to a birthday party for someone and getting depressed because you did not get any gifts. True worship is neither about us nor is it for us. We worship the Lord of Hosts because He is worthy of our gifts of love.

We had an interesting experience when we lived in Costa Rica. A friend of ours, who was a professional tour guide, took us to see one of the great volcanoes there – Arenal. It was rather impressive.  One of my lasting impressions, however, was the jaded and bored expression on our friends face when he showed us the sights. He had seen them so many times and gone through his little spiel about the wonders of the mountain.  What was more fun was watching a couple of little girls bursting at the seems as they watched the mountain shoot out van size pieces of molten rock. That was seriously fun!

Have we encouraged a class of tour guides in worship – professionals who know the sights, know the right words and can manipulate the right response?  Personally I love the term  “lead worshipper” rather than worship leader.  If the chief musician is not also the primary worshipper, something seriously has been lost.

Matt Redman wrote a song that says it better than anything I know.

When the music fades

 All is stripped away

 And I simply come

 Longing just to bring

 Something that's of worth

 That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song

        For a song in itself

        Is not what You have required

         You search much deeper within

         Through the way things appear

        You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

      And it's all about You

      It's all about You, Jesus

      I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

      When it's all about You

      It's all about You, Jesus

So what is a pastor?

So what is a pastor?

Although this has been my primary vocation, and I use that word in the sense of call more than job, for most of my life; I am, it seems, still trying to understand what it is that I do. I grew up in a church family that did not have “pastors” which, in many ways was a blessing. It did, however, lead to some strangely funny moments; but that is for another blog.

For a pastor, much of what drives us – and leaves us feeling vaguely guilty – is confusion about our primary roles. I do not believe the job of a pastor is to either build a church nor even to lead it. I can remember hating going to pastors conferences when I had struggling churches and not releasing that increased numbers does not bring an end to that struggle. Inevitably someone would ask how the church was going and what they wanted to know was measurable signposts of success – was it growing? Were we building? Were we adding staff? I was not, and I cringed in anticipation of those questions.

Many pastors, myself included, live with a niggling sense of failure. Some of this is from the bizarre models of larger than life pastors within the media. It is heightened by the ways in which the church generally defines success for a pastor as shown in the way they are honoured. When is a wonderful faithful pastor of a small church ever invited to be a conference speaker? It is subtly implied that if they were significant teachers, they would have significantly sized churches and would therefore be worth listening to.  Before I start to rant about false models of success in the church let me get back to a basic and primary understanding of the call of the pastor.

For me, much of my sense of inadequacy was due to a wrong understanding of what I was suppose to be doing; what the most important things were that God had called me to do. I do know that there are elements of my job that require leadership and management; and that I accept. I do not, however, believe that is the primary vocation of a pastor.

I believe that as a senior pastor I have 3 unique roles. I am a pastor, teacher and leader. I believe that the second two are subservient to the first.

This is a lifelong work in progress but here are some of my thoughts.

I am called to be a lover – of God and His people. I love the way in which John, the pastoral apostle, weaves this theme constantly through his letter. It also needs to be woven through my life.

I am called to obedience – and the outcome of that obedience rests with the Lord and not with me.  I need to live in obedience to God’s word and his revealed direction within my life. If I measure my success merely by the outcome of my actions, and not the carefulness of my obedience, I am have an overinflated sense of my own importance.

I am called to the ancient art of the cure of souls (the very old understanding of the office of pastor).  This includes salvation but does not stop there. It includes much of what is increasingly being discussed as spiritual formation. It is the binding up of the wounded, patiently waiting for the stragglers, noticing those hovering at the edge and watching to see where the light is dimming.  My call involves confronting both the will where it has not been broken and the wounds, which have been neglected.

As a pastoral teacher, I will never sound as deep or clever as a professor nor should I. I need to provide the eternal truths of God in bit sized pieces for the weekly good of those in front of me.  Ideas are not the realm in which I get to dwell but rather change; my goal is to encourage transformation and not simply to bring education.  The word “ educate” comes from the latin words which, roughly translated mean,  lead to the light. If I take that as meaning leading to Jesus then I am an educator. As a pastor I must also mean assisting with gentle grace and stubborn strength all within my care to follow Jesus more closely.

If I am a leader, it is firstly a byproduct of my being a follower. Come and follow me as I follow the Lord. For a pastor leading in this way is primary.

I remember reading of the disappointment of Ghandi when he wrote of how many of the pastors he met were managers and not holy men.

I love being a pastor – most days. I love the fact that I know I have been called to be a follower, a lover, a worshipper, a wounded healer and guide. I love the fact that I get to be a life long learner in what this means.

 Let the journey continue!